30 haikus for 30-yr olds

Nosheen Iqbal

Islington. Farmer’s

Market. Travelling fairtrade

organic cocaine

Glastonbury mud

Drugs booze festival spirit

Blands Kate Moss facebook

Dinner party friends

Authentic Vietnamese

Chopsticks culture wine

Functioning for cash

Is no way to ensure you

Will ever matter

But big ching buy you

Smashing tits and iPod to

play Keane’s greatest hits

Warehouse location

Postmodern ironic kitsch

Cunt with facial hair

Disguising raging

whorefest of brain and body

By wearing Converse

Capitalism

keeps you working for bags

Priced like winter coats

Consumerism

Kills communism. Loves Che

Guevara t-shirts

Soul crushed. Brain melt in

.gif. End of everything.

Bongos weed chillax.

To be in work for

cash hungry ad men in jeans

Make small death likely

(Profiteering for

blue blood new media shits

fulfilling self harm)

German not know if

he is hunk or super geek

Girls wish he was Tom

Suburban orgy

Cosmopolitan swinging

BabeStation phone sex

E equals Mimi

Carey squared Boob ass diva:

All relative m8

Britain’s Got Talent

Saturday Night Takeaway

Haha gud 1 lol

Ninety-nine percent

of the general public

Suffer retardation

Deify beauty

Survival of the thickest

Tsunami model

Statement anarchy

Aim subversion politics

End shitting Banksy

Minimalist white

desks aren’t suited to dropping

Vietcong noodles

But style mag

conscious playlists and slogan

t-shirts are SO cool

Guestlist, fuckface, cock

munching penis holder blag

shit weasel spunktard

You’ve got the looks I’ve

got the brain let’s make lots of

classic synth pop

Genius of our

Time? Object of ridicule?

Morrissey loves blacks

When the machines take

over please kill the stupid

And the inane first

Angry young Muslim

In sprawling metropolis

Gym kit rucksack bomb

French electro geek

Detroit techno boggle face

Shoegaze indie fringe

Robot Cyborg bleep

Y2k android machines

Daft Punk club bangers

If art will save us

From life’s degrading horrors

Keep New Order looped

Nosheen Iqbal is a Contributing Editor on Guardian Culture. These 30 haikus were first published here.